Ngiyabonga / Ngingajabula

...means "Thank you" and "Please" [literally "It makes me happy." -- there is no word for please in Zulu]
Sorry it has been a while...but first off

Happy Woman's Day!!!!!

Yesterday was a public holiday in celebration of Women in South Africa. Very exciting. To all you phenomenal women out there -- you go girl.

:)

The week has been really nice...some terrible weather in Cape Town but I got to go to Robben Island and saw Nelson Mandela's prison cell. The tour was held by an ex-political prisoner which was also pretty neat. Saw Binaben after a looooooooooooooooong time and met her three kids which was really fun!!!
Then went to Johannesburg and stayed with Dolat Uncle and Patti Auntie...Pillubhai took me out for Sat afternoon which was nice...we went to the Hootenspoort (sp?) Dam and up the cable car for a beautiful view...then took a drive into town at a craft market which was awesome. The next day we went to a Lion Park which was really really cool and then drove to Pretoria and I saw Naren Uncle's old neighbourhood...really neat! Minu took me out to meet some of her friends Sunday night...came back yesterday and just hung out with the house...it was a really relaxing weekend!

A lot of stuff has been going on here...but everyone says that I'm depressing them with my stories so I'll try and keep it light! We're trying to organize donations and stuff for the kids because they are doing a fundraising trip to England and touring there (because they are oh so talented!). So that's been taking up most of my day! BUT -- if anyone is in England and would like to see the kids (I STRONGLY encourage this!!!!) ... check out the site:

www.tank7even.com/agape

I am going to organize some sort of donation situation as people have been suggesting it to me...I think I will just get my mom to collect them and then I will take out money from her account from here or something. So if you are interested in making a donation, let me or my mom know.

There's a lot of things, I think, that have changed me by being here. For as long as I can remember, I've been really against capital punishment. But being here, I think, has really got me thinking about it in a more realistic light. Hearing the stories of such brutal rapes against really young girls (a lot of which I don't even mention on this blog anymore...) has really made me loathe the men that commit these crimes. It's a kind of loathing that I may never feel for murderers, but rape has such a grotesque element to it...I don't know. I'm still thinking about it...
For the past few visits to the Dream Centre, I have found myself very reluctant to go to the men's floors (men and women at the hospice are separated). The truth is, every woman that I've talked to or know anything about, was either raped or had a husband/boyfriend who cheated on them and contracted the disease. These men then bring HIV into the whole family (future kids which is very likely because they don't use condoms/birth control here, and even current daughters by raping them). So it's really hard for me to try and befriend these men -- mos of which have infected more than one person due to their own mistakes. Of course, I don't actually know for sure that any of the men are rapists or cheaters, but all the same, it's really difficult for me to try and be their friends when there is a pretty good chance that they are the cause of the problem.
The women that I have met here are some of the most amazing people I think I will ever know. They have such a strength embedded in their soul...I can't even begin to explain to anyone the immense disrespect they are treated with by society, by the economy, and mostly, by members of their own family...
I once talked to a previous volunteer (Edith) about making a difference. Am I really making a difference by being here? Truthfully, and I know many of you will disagree, but trust me on this one -- the answer is no. I think Lean on Me makes a difference as a whole organization, but I don't think that any of the individuals here have the power to make change. For me, that's a really depressing thought. I always truly believed that I could make a difference just in presence. But the truth is, I haven't really saved any lives or families. I haven't stopped the HIV virus from spreading further. I haven't changed any one or any thing really. Anything I've done is just a drop in a bucket. There's just too much...it's so daunting and it really scares me to think of it.
One of the saddest sights I've seen was driving home in Joburg. It was almost night time...and on my left hand side, there were all these nice houses with white picket fences with lights on, nice roads, and street lamps. And on my right, were hundreds of little shacks with a few lights scattered here and there, with no street lights, and huts built out of corrugated iron, mud, sticks, blankets, and cardboard. The divide between the wealthy and the poor seemed to have been translated from the symbolic to the literal with just that image that's to be forever ingrained in my mind. 90% of this country lives in ABJECT POVERTY. It's all very unsettling...
Phew...

Quick shoutouts:

Everyone who emailed for my birthday -- thanks you guys...much appreciated. I'm sorry but I really can't write all of you guys back, but just know that I appreciate it so much and love and miss you all!!!
Pratik & Sofi -- who tracked me down in Johanessburg and called me there (sorry I missed the call Prat)
An extra shout out to Sofi -- who has been accepted into law school!!!! Unfortunately, that means she's leaving us all and moving to the west coast (i have no idea if its UBC or UVic)...
Naren Uncle -- who called Joburg on Sunday!
Seema B -- who called Friday (I wasn't there) and again yesterday -- wohoo!
:)

And to everyone that says I look tired/bad/sick/too skinny/etc in my pictures...give me a break! It's not like I brought make up with me or anything!!!!

Love and miss you all,
Resh.